Ticking, tocking, and the hour hand moves by as my mind slows. My head begins crawling through the late hours of the night and I feel the sun at bay any hour now. Never have I been without questions but tonight my inquisitive mind has been turned off. Despite my hearts confusion I’m not pulled into the trap of fretting my time away. A calm blew into my world just a few days prior and it sticks around, sometimes having me wonder if I’m down or simply quiet. Boredom rings in my ears because of my lack of purpose in this world.
Summer quickly approaches leaving me thinking, “now what? Now where do I go? Who do I see? How do I spend my precious time that I’ve been waiting months on edge for? The air is so thick it creates a tacky sensation between my fingertips and the sun shines as bright as a desert light. But I revel in it all in a funny sense. I spend nearly every evening turning toward the night sky and taking every feeling inside of me that comes with that sight. I crave the darkness of night like an addict, but now, now I want both the burn of the sun and the calm of the sky. Putting the world on hold, conversations, papers, stories, adventures, and the lists that get buried between the seat cushions. But I want them both with no sleep to hold me back. And I’d give it all away to crawl inside my quiet little head and spend my tick, tocking hours dreaming my life away in places that don’t exist.